Self-Help

About the Book

“ARE YOU BEING HELD HOSTAGE
IN YOUR RELATIONSHIP?

An emotional hostage-taker can be your partner, your child, your parents or any person in your life. They can be hard to spot and even harder to cope with. What will be consistent is a dynamic that is destructive and painful. These people have not learned to accept responsibility for their own feelings and actions, and your unawareness
will allow them to assign you that role.
Hostage takers are not necessarily ‘bad’ people, but they are extremely dangerous. In my case, the hostage-taker was a hostage herself, someone in need of healing and compassion. Because her wounds were hidden, what started as a romance deteriorated through an erosion of trust and an endless, draining crisis of faith…. I was caught off guard
in my own choice to ignore the signs, slipping into a web of danger that could have landed me behind bars. My personal boundaries were as ineffective as a soap bubble, leaving me an emotional hostage in the end. My situation ended when the nightmare of my partner’s break-down culminated in a suicide attempt. Though I had already made the choice to live, literally, as an open book and sharing my life’s lessons, I nevertheless have lived much of my adult life living with a past that could’ve easily destroyed my future success.
After what for many people would have been an affair at the end of a marriage, with all the messiness and moral responsibility to address the emotions around it, I found myself embroiled in a court battle and countless months struggling to identify what was hunting me, grasping for any closure. It took this desperate need for closure and a lot of emotional and spiritual work to identify the traps of my own unawareness and desire for a woman— an experience that could’ve even had me shot and killed over a false 911 call.

“For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the
LORD, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you,
plans to give you hope and a future.” – Jeremiah 29:11″

About the Author
“Ralph Sanders is a mentor and motivational coach working to inspire youth as well as adults. He is an inspirational speaker focused on helping the targets of Internet bullying protect themselves and overcome, as well as helping others to recognize and address troubled relationship patterns. He currently resides in Northern California raising his family, were they attend church and give back to the community. He enjoys playing basketball, traveling, skiing, and book signings as a 3-time author and a Christian spiritual practitioner.

One of Ralph’s most passionate commitments is to visiting halfway houses for ex- cons; encouraging those in re-entry to, “Keep hope alive and live your best life now!” Ralph enjoys communicating with others about how his faith helps him to overcome any obstacles of failure. Ralph also enjoys working in sales and acting in commercials. Ralph also impacts Semi -Pro athletes to achieve their goals for possible NBA tryouts. You might wonder how his material success connects to his humanistic and spiritual work. The answer is that his central goal and target is to never give up! He believes in this approach and wants to share it widely. Whether the challenge is a business goal or a spiritual one, this positivity, perseverance and growth mindset is key. Mr. Sander’s first book addressed how he overcame a very public brush with the law and the experience of incarceration as a young man, leaving him with two strikes and a passionate determination to live his best life. He subsequently wrote about confronting a devastating personal experience with Internet bullying. “Held Hostage,” his third book, describes how he nearly “lost it all,” when he became entangled in a toxic relationship, and what his difficult experience taught him.

Mr. Saunders has found his calling in openly sharing his journey. He believes that through a positive outlook and never giving up, we can all turn our past mistakes into trans formative lessons.

“ For there is nothing impossible without God”
– Luke 1:37″